Forever and always x.

My mind now is in a whirl and my eyes are fucking swollen like 2 extra large red painted ping pong balls.
I dont know what to do. I am feeling like what I am feeling before. It sucks totally! I thought everything I have cooled down since that bitch thang. But I guess not. Cause this issue has got it own history.

I feel like screaming my lungs out. I feel like whacking everyone. I feel like shouting vulgarities out from the windows and throw eggs at anyone who walk by downstairs. I just have like a gush of frustrations, anger and energy that I need to channel out. Shouting into my pillow doesn't really work now cause I cant hear my voice and its though the frustrations are still there. Bloody bitch.



I called _____ and we chatted alot some things that we never talked about. It was good in a sense that we opened up to one another. We never did this in the past cause we never had that kind of chance. Either because ___ think I was too young to understand such stuffs then or just simply, we never spent time together like any other people does. I broke down only awhile after the conversation started so I wasnt the one talking much. And I think ___ broke down too soon after me. I wanted to tell ____ how she and I felt so much yet nothing came out except *sniffs sniffs* ( I am not going to reveal the gender lest it will be too obvious.)





I heard many " Be strong, lien". Easier said than done, action speaks louder than words.
Believe it or not, I used to have a louder personality than now. I have withdrawn myself so much from the crowd that I've forgotten how it feels like. Out-of-place kind of feel.







I shall stop here or everything will be under sun. I am still not ready to share such stuffs with any of you. Wordpress is definately better than blogger in terms of privacy posting.

I dont like going school tomorrow. I just wanna stay at home. I am calling in sick tomorrow if possible.