Just because I am less expressive, dont means my feels for you are any lesser. Remember how hard and how long just for me to say "I LOVE YOU" even after we got together? You didn't say much then, instead you too up my portion and say it to me<3

Yes I admit, I am not as expressive now as I am after that period. People change. People like you and me. Remember how you would send me good morning and goodnight texts no what matter, even it would risk you getting caught and costing you your weekends. Now you just don't do goodnight texts. Good morning, yes still, but a few minor times you didn't.

I AM NOT COMPLAINING. AND I MEAN IT.
I know you are busy, I know you are tired, I know you said goodnight on the phone already, and I know you dont have unlimited text so its gonna cost you alot. I don't know if I am just getting too used to being understanding or making up excuses for you again.

When asked, you once told me cause you said it on the phone already. Fine.
But do you remember, before we were together, you would send me goodnight messages even after we hang up?
And do you remember, before we were together, you would send me goodnight messages no matter how dead beat that you would shut down any moment?
And did you realised? We are not texting not as much now as compared to that time. Not even half as much. Sometimes it like you have forgotten about my text/me.


Now it turns out to be me, sending you one every night without fail. If not you will be disappointed and ask me why. I know how bad that feel - to get used to something and then its gone slowly.


I had a hard time having to overcome the habit of reading your goodnight text. Don't get me start on it again okay?
With goodnight messages gone now and lesser texting, one of the best time of my day would most probably be in the morning, when you wake up and send me one. It has become one of my worst and best habit that I even set up an alarm just to wake myself up to see it and go back to sleep. Silly enough yet I like it that way.


But sometimes, I get disappointed. That very moment, I remind myself that I can't be too demanding.




I AM STILL NOT COMPLAINING. I am just saying that people do change(most of the time according to circumstances). I am afraid of people leaving. Being care-less and less expressive cause just reduce any hurt and damage if anything happens. I am so afraid of speaking anything when I get emotional. I am so afraid of being so me, phrasing the correct words, incorrectly. So now I think thru even I speak, but most of the time, I couldn't phrase it correctly so I remained silent.


You said you can't feel the feelings I have for you earlier on. You told you dont want to regret your decision. What can I say? Sometimes I feel that I really can't love you the way you want me to love you. But this doesn't mean I dont love with you all I have you know, boy? I know I am not the best, but believe me, I am still trying my best to be your best.

Quote from tumblr:
"Sometimes relationship sour because one stops doing the things you do to get the person."

The point of this post is just to vent out some emotions. Not to spite you or put you down. I don't think it will even do so, cause you dont even read my blog at all.

Disclaimer: Some of you might even think I am making a big deal out of such a small matter(texting), then I say you dont understand. I have school, and he have NS. Our communication channel would only be thru TEXTING and calling. Get it now?

Day 8 - your favorite internet friend.


Hmmm, I dont really have a internet friend. Oh wait!! I have!! She's has the same name as me! :p
Hahaha and she lives in Tampines, and has the same monthsary date with her bf, and with me and E!

Ok, I am so lazy to continue this daily thing already =x But dont like to do thing halfway and just leave it there >.<
Shall see how things goes again! Back to my drama ohohohohohohohoh~~

Courier guy with my shopping loots came knocking on my door tonight = HAPPY GIRL IS ME!!!












Big and heavy parcel! Finally found E's long wanted adidas jacket(white with gold stripes) online! It wasn't selling in stores in Singapore. And E was raving how much he wanted it! It wasn't selling in Taiwan either cause I got sis to hunt it for me when she went there last year! Talk about hard to get!

It was worth it man!!! Hard to = lesser people wear!! :P Hehehehe I like to see E happy! He's like a chubby little kid who just gotten a sticker from a teacher, HAPPY HAPPY JUMP AROUND!! hahahaha BIONG BIONG~~ <3

So many loots, all up to my expectation! I DECIDED TO BE MY OWN SANTAS CLAUS THIS CHRISTMAS! Courier guy shall be my elf who sent my "PRESENT" to me! :P


Day 7 - your ex-boyfriend/girlfriend/love/crush.

Of course I will talk about my love right? xD I have no ex, and I have talked about my crush liao. So E shall be my topic today! :D

 

[above] Hehe random snap shot of chubby bf!!1 He moved cause he realised I take photo of him :P
but nevermind seeeeee he is still chubby anyway!! <3

 

[above] Told him to look at my camera and smile, then when I take, he sudden forwar RAWR my camera! #likeakid

 

[above] "lai lai, give me one twist lehhhhhh"

Him: *forced, reluctant* TWIST~

[above] candid shot of him with his BUDUNG.
he like sweet budung #likeakid

Hahaha I dont need to intro him much here, since I blogged alot about him!!! He's MY chubby love, and he's someone I am willingly and want to try out "FOREVER" with <3
No more mushy mushy stuffs, cause I know not all believes in love, and mushy mushy stuffs makes them want to puke :P

Okay goodnight! Another day closer to see my BIONG BIONG!!!

A bit of today...
Daddy drove me home tonight. Cause it was the night, when pens and paper decides a point of no return. I dont know if I should be happy about it or not. I dont know what the future holds for us, but I should just think positive and things as they come instead of feeling negative for all those that have yet to come.

Then daddy finally DISMANTLED the cupboard/shelf/seat at our door to retrieve out the $200 birthday angbao Ahgong gave sis more than a decades back. I miss Ahgong's voice, but now I am just gladly tell him not to worry cause we remembered what he said before he was sick, to take out that $200 stuck there :)

I am still hoping for the best for ahgong. A good man like him doesn't deserve all these pain and suffering. God please bless him.



Day 6 - a stranger.

A stranger. Reminds me of something =(
Someone once told me that someone dear/special to him has now become a stranger.  It was a double ouch for me. Ouch that he had to feel that pain, and ouch that someone was as special as me before I came along.
Sometimes, it makes me think...









If I never came along, will that someone still be thinking of the stranger or even pinning his hopes up for that now "stranger" to him???

</3





Or even if after I came along, there's still in place in him somewhere real deep down, somewhere called memory lane where that "stranger" and their memories stays forever.
Lol troll moment ; I am actually envy and jealous of someone I don't even know in real life! A STRANGER O.O


I tend to think alot. Too much thoughts and sometimes, the hurt I feel inside me are self inflicted. Like you know much how you enjoy someone's company and how you want them to be in your life for good. Then suddenly the idea of how that all these awesome and sweet feeling you are feeling now for that someone wouldn't even exist if SOMEONE was still with that STRANGER. Cause if that someone is still with that "now-stranger" he wouldn't even see you like how he would know.


BUT THEN AGAIN...
If he's still with that stranger, and he wouldn't see me like how he does now. WHY WOULD I BE EVEN AFFECTED?? :) cause I wouldn't even know how it feels like then right!!!

HAHAHAHA!! See i tell you i think too much liao :P


Okay okay no emo emo!!! CHANGE TOPIC!!

************

I remember in year 1, pervert Diyana once told us that she got the urge to just walk up to a stranger on the street and PRETEND TO say :

"EH!!! You are the who right?! Remember me not??? We sit beside each other in primary school one !!?"

then say

"OH PAISEH, WRONG PERSON" and just walk away leaving the person STUNNED.

HAHAHAHA!! Now year 3, I told her to upgrade abit. This time round when you see a person in a stationary car in the carpark or road side, JUST GO IN AND SIT!!! Then after sitting in the car.... just say OH WRONG CAR and walk out XD

She say she's gonna wear those black TUDUNG that only show her eyes before she does that. OMG confirm funny!!! Gonna try pyscho her to do that! \m/

Alright! Need to go lala land and find my Kangaroo now! Yay!!!

Day 5 - your dreams.



1.To provide the best I could for my parents.

2. Have my OWN retail shop(s) while holding a stable and good enough paid job. I will then get my mummy and daddy helping to manage it so their can be their own bosses.

I dont want them old liao still need go find job work, and let people bully. Ask them stay at home all the time no good for them!!

3. Get a house in Australia. (Dad fully supported me migrating there and even suggested to me when he even didn't know that I LOOOOOVE Australia!) This one not same as migrate hor... Migrate = stay there always. I am not gonna throw my family, friends and relatives all here :)

4. Thick savings account.

5. Best health for my loved one.

6. Give forever a try with someone special ♥♥
(Someone made me wanna try it out. Never believe it at all until he came.)


Guess my dreams are not that unrealistic right? Just need to give my best I can. Jiayou jiayou WOOOH!!!! \m/ \m/

Day 4 - your sibling.



Before you read this entry...I want you to RIGHT CLICK, OPEN NEW TAB AND READ THIS , READ THIS and READ THIS TOO...



One of the best gift my parents gave to me ♥♥♥♥ Am so lucky to have and she's even luckier to have me! :D I am so gonna kill anyone who even dare try to just to pluck her hairy arms' hair. SERIOUS. Only I can bully her!!

We talk EVERYTHING on earth.
We sneaked out to play roller blades when we are younger together and arrange everything back in place before Mummy comes home. We do clean job one okay? No one suspect we sneaked out, okay maybe the adults did, but decided not to scold us cause we too cute :P


Too many memories.
She's of the best gift I could ever asked for.
We are each other pillar of support when everything came CRASHING F-L-A-T on both of us. Cause no one, no one at all could understand how IT felt like. And we are not supposed to say anything to anyone else..


Our rapport was AMAZINGLY AND SCARILY well! We could just read each other's mind even before we speak. Hahaha like seriously, we want keep secret from each other we also must keeping telling ourself "DONT GO THINK, DONT GO THINK!" Cause there are times when we just think of something, the another one of us will get the same "thought" too! NO JOKE.

Sometimes we even think we are like twins but born in different year and look different.

Lucky mum didn't listen to me when I said I wanted a younger brother. She gave me a younger sis who LOOKED LIKE MY ELDER SISTER NOW!!!
HAHAHAHA alot people commented and asked if she's the older one okay??? :D

Okay pictures. Just a few, we took too many already. And I realised, we like to make funny faces.

I am so blessed to have her with me :)
I will keel anyone who try to harm my family, <3!